Finishing Touches
by DanielFactoid
Summary: [complete]Christmas at Sam's. DanJan, SamJack. VERY WEIRD. Smiles, it's pointless fluff... Unbetaed.


"Finishing Touches"

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or anything relating to it, except my Daniel Shrine. I do, however, own my hopes for a Sam/Jack relationship and the tears I shed over "Heroes Pt. 2".

Dedicated to Laura Hoffman, who told me to "WRITE MORE"

"Hey, Daniel" Daniel looked up from the cuneiform tablet they'd found on their last mission off-world.

"Hey, Jack, what's up"

Jack walked into the office and automatically began playing with something on Daniel's desk. Daniel was about to say that he needed the object to do his work when Jack said"You know, I never asked you what religion you are."

Daniel looked up from his work"Uh, well" he said"I'm Christian... sort of. It's hard to practice a religion when your job is to kill false gods."

Jack nodded"True" he put the artifact back on the desk"You want to come to a Christmas party? Carter's having it."

Daniel's eyebrows shot up"_Really_"

Jack stood up and stretched"Yep. You coming? Christmas Eve, a sleepover" Jack rolled his eyes"Women."

Daniel smiled and stood up"Sure... hey, that's in two days"

Jack gave him his well-_duh_- Mr. Obvious look.

"Okay, I'll come... Hey, I didn't know you were Christian" said Daniel as he and Jack began walking through the halls to Sam's lab.

Jack raised his hands, as if in surrender"I've got this weird feeling Teal'C isn't either."

Daniel shrugged"Good point."

They walked in compatible silence the rest of the way, Jack whistling some Christmas-carol tune every once in a while.

"Knock, knock" he said as they reached the open doorway.

"Oh! Hi sir, Daniel. What's up" Sam beckoned them inside. Teal'C walked out of the shadows.

Jack grabbed his chest in an acting fashion"My _God_, T, you almost gave me a heart attack" Teal'C gave him an odd look. Jack changed the subject"What were you doing here"

"I was assisting Major Carter in persuading General Hammond to give us time off."

"You had to _persuade _him"

"Indeed, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel looked surprised"I figured he would just _give _us time off."

"Actually" said Sam uncomfortably"I, um, made the mistake of telling him about our plans first."

Jack and Daniel laughed. Teal'C smiled a bit. Sam smiled embarrassedly.

"Anyway, he said we have off for five days, including today" she said"And I've got a lot to do in two days, so... I'm off."

Sam waved goodbye to them and she walked out of the lab, smiling.

Jack checked to see if she was out of earshot"We better not play Truth or Dare at this party"

"I know _exactly_ what you mean."

Jack turned to Daniel in surprise"What"

Daniel wanted to slap himself"Uh... never mind."

Jack shrugged"Whatever. I'm going, too."

"See you."

Jack left, still looking at Daniel oddly.

"So, Teal'C, you going too"

"Indeed. I have researched the human ritual of Christmas, and the holiday necessitates the exchanging of gifts."

"Shopping" Daniel asked somewhat bemusedly.

"Indeed."

Daniel grinned"Go for it"

Jack couldn't decide what to get Sam. It was too intimate or it was too... _not _intimate. He walked through the aisles, frustrated, heavily considering buying her an expensive blender and being done with it. Then he thought of the possibility that she'd make some sarcastic comment on who was getting married.

One worthless object down.

_How about a ring?_ He thought. Then he shuddered. _A little too intimate, Jack... _

In his cart lay two archaeological books (both very thick with teeny print that Jack thought was ridiculous), some weird Celtic music that Daniel apparently liked, one huge water gun for each member of his team, Janet and himself, two books called How to Date (for Sam and Daniel). These books were "joke" presents, though Jack hoped they would actually use them. He also had a book for Sam entitled Getting a Life. This, sadly, was a serious gift.

He also a few other things for Daniel, Janet (who'd they'd just invited), Teal'C, Hammond (who'd he give the presents to later), and Sam. Just not the _right_ one for Sam.

A singing fish? No. A science fiction book? _NO! _Sexy pajamas? Well, _duh. _

Then Jack saw it. It was perfect. It gave away his feelings… and was free…And original… _Not that the sexy pajamas _hadn't_been perfect..._ he thought.

He bought everything and put it in his car. The shopping had taken four hours.

"Damn lines" he muttered, and hopped into the driver's seat.

"What do you want for Christmas, Janet"

Janet looked up from the book she'd been reading outside, despite the bitter cold and snow.

"What"

"What do you want for Christmas"

Janet frowned"A life, other than my career and my daughter."

"I can't"

"Really? You can't"

"What's that supposed to mean"

Janet blushed and stood up"I'm sorry, Daniel. Just never mind what I said."

She made a move for the door for the door, but Daniel caught her arms and she faced him.

Daniel, with his wondrous blue eyes, perfect brown hair, muscled arms, and lips she longed to kiss passionately...

_What the hell am I _thinking? She thought.

"Please tell me, Janet. Please."

"Daniel, I really can't"

"Is it this" He pulled her close and kissed her. Then he stepped back and pulled his arms away from her as though she were burning hot.

"I'm sorry" he said, and ran back to his car, threw himself in the seat and started up the engine before she could say a word.

After he drove away and was long gone, she whispered"Yes... it is."

Jack's phone rang. He picked it up, answering"Jack O'Neill."

Sam, who was in Jack's house, looked curious, and glanced at the caller I.D. It read: Jackson, Daniel.

Jack turned on speaker phone.

"Jack? It's Daniel."

"Okay..."

"Jack, I have to tell you something."

"Spit it out" Jack replied, putting his finger to his lips and pointing at Sam.

"You don't _happen_ to have me on speaker phone, do you" Daniel's voice asked suspiciously.

"Uh... no"

"Ok, good. Well, here goes... Jack, damn it, I kissed Janet."

Jack hooted and Sam laughed.

Daniel immediately suspected something"Jack, you don't sound like a girl. Is Sam there"

Sam saw nothing in hiding"Yep. Hey, Daniel."

A curse word came from the other end and Daniel hung up on Jack.

Teal'C picked up a Madonna bobble head doll. He placed it in his cart.

That was for O'Neill.

Other things in Teal'C's cart consisted of several insect-eating plants for Sam, a baseball mitt that had apparently been signed by someone called "Cal Ripken Jr." for Jack, and a few things for Daniel and Janet. The Madonna doll had finished his shopping.

The cashier looked at Teal'C, in his odd hat, and looked confused at the odd assortment of items.

Teal'C paid him in 1 bills and slowly walked out of the shop to a newly-bought junkie car.

Jack sat in his truck for a few minutes; he was a little worried about going into Sam's

house- no one else was there yet.

"C'mon, Jack..." he whispered to himself. He took a deep breath and stepped out, carrying a bag of badly-wrapped gifts.

He walked up the steps and knocked on the door. It opened immediately, as though she'd been expecting him at that moment.

"Hi" she said. They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds.

"Uhm... can I come in"

"Oh! Sure"

Sam stepped aside and Jack walked inside. He put down his stuff next to the couch, and noticed the Christmas tree. It was skinny and had three branches, with about ten needles.

"Nice... tree" he said.

Sam smiled"They were out of _real_ trees, and this was all they had..."

Jack nodded. Sam rocked on the balls of her feet, and then someone knocked on the door. Sam jumped to the door and opened it. Daniel stood in the doorway, his face unreadable.

"Hello."

"Oy! C'mon in Daniel. What's up"

Daniel came in, dropped his things, and fell wearily onto the couch.

"I can't believe this" he muttered. He closed his eyes and banged his head against the wall.

Jack sat down next to him"You're losing brain cells, Spacemonkey."

Daniel's eyes popped open, stared at Jack, and then closed them again"Too bad."

A car rumbled onto Sam's street and she looked out the window"I, uh, think it's Janet."

Daniel jumped up"Where's your bathroom"

Jack stood in front of him, arms crossed"You're gonna have to face her _some _time. And, you can't stay in the bathroom, in the case I have to piss."

"How touching."

Janet knocked on the door, and Daniel ran into the hall.

"Hi, Janet."

"Hi, Sam, who's here"

"Daniel and Colonel O'Neill..."

"Hey" Jack said"My name's Jack off-duty."

Sam looked at him oddly. Jack shrugged and turned to Janet"So, what's new"

Janet glared at him"Something tells me you already know."

Jack raised his hands as if in surrender.

"Don't push it" Janet growled.

"Where's Daniel" Janet burst out suddenly, looking embarrassed as soon as she said it.

"He's in the bathroom. Doing his... thing."

Both Janet and Sam raised their eyebrows. Jack smiled slightly, knowing that he was

purposely trying to get Janet and Daniel together. Hey, he thought, there's nothing wrong with some old-fashioned match-ups.

Janet began walking to the bathroom"I'm gonna talk to him."

"You go, girl."

Janet gave Jack another glare.

"Just... make sure he's done first. On the other hand, I think he just went in there to hide."

"From me"

Jack looked at Sam"Yup."

Janet frowned and walked down the hallway, out of their sight.

Sam was about to say something when a knock came from the door.

"Teal'C" Jack said suddenly, and opened the door. Teal'C stood in the doorway, several bags in his hands.

"Is that" said Jack, pointing at a bag"What I think it is"

"Indeed O'Neill. It is Taco Bell."

"Yes! This makes the whole party worthwhile"

Sam stared at him"Not... that it wasn't _always_..." he said hastily.

Teal'C walked into the room"Where is Daniel Jackson"

"He's... never mind. Why"

Teal'C smiled as wide as he could (which, Jack thought, was rather scary)"I have brought Star Wars."

Sam grinned"Awesome"

Jack groaned.

Sam clapped her hands together"OK, can you two help me move the gifts to the... tree"

"No problemo."

Jack picked up a bag"Jeez, this weighs about 50 pounds"

"Look inside- I think it's Daniel's."

"OK..." Jack glanced into the bag, his eyes and smile widening"Oh, my God, Danny-Boy! Woo-hoo"

"What is it" asked Sam.

Jack showed a toothy grin"Oh... just about 15 cases of beer."

"I do not consume alcoholic beverages."

Jack looked at Teal'C and shrugged"Hey, you've got Star Wars and Taco Bell. And we need a designated driver, so it's alright, big fella."

Teal'C decided not to comment on the "designated driver" bit.

It was at that moment that Janet and Daniel appeared. They both looked embarrassed but happy.

"Ok, I'm satisfied, now can we please get on with the party"

Jack looked miffed"Are you going to tell us what _happened_"

Janet and Daniel exchanged glances"No."

Teal'C looked odd.

"Why not" asked Sam.

"Because it's... private..."

"Yeah, because it's private" said Janet after Daniel.

There was and awkward pause as everyone gave fierce glares. Jack broke the silence"Beers, Taco Bell, anyone"

"Me" said Daniel.

"You"

"Me."

"Daniel, get drunk after a quarter of a bottle of beer. Are you _sure_"

"You get drunk after less than a bottle of beer" asked Janet and Sam at the same time.

Daniel blushed"Thanks, Jack."

"I have no problem handing out intimate information" Jack said as he walked over to Daniel.

"Really? OK... How about that one time, when you were time-looping and you resign"

Jack put a hand over Daniel's mouth"Sit down and get drunk, Spacemonkey."

Jack slowly let go of Daniel's mouth. Daniel sat down on the couch, looking content with himself that he'd made Jack embarrassed.

Teal'C sat down in a chair and opened his bag. This broke the weird silence, and everyone dug in.

Jack was the first to get his food and he sat down on a love-seat couch. Daniel had already marked his territory on another two-seater couch. Sam got her food and looked uncomfortable at the choice of seats. On one hand was a smiling Daniel who was trying to say through his eyes that he wanted Janet. On the other hand was Jack, who was pretending to be more interested in his burrito than in her.

Sam sighed and almost sat on the floor. Instead, she walked over to Jack and sat next to him. A big read flag went up in her mind that said, 'uncomfortable/dangerous position- MOVE!'

She couldn't follow the flag's directions, however, because Janet had automatically taken a seat next to Daniel.

"So... what're we watching or doing" asked Daniel.

"We're sitting" said Jack sarcastically.

"Ha-ha" said Daniel, and took a large gulp of beer. His eyes seemed to widen, then droop down.

_Uh-oh_... thought Jack.

Teal'C stood and popped in "Star Wars: A New Hope'.

Jack groaned"Why 'Star Wars'"

Sam turned to face him"What else"

"The Simpsons' Christmas is on" he said in a sing-song voice.

Janet looked interested and Daniel took another large gulp of beer. He rolled his eyes"The Simpsons are whacked" he said, his words slurring together.

Sam picked up the remote and handed it to Jack, who pressed a few buttons to change the channel. Teal'C looked slightly put-out.

"South Park's on, too" Jack said to Sam.

"Let's keep it clean" she replied.

"What is South Park" asked Teal'C, obviously confused.

"It's this really weird show with little cartoon-puppet people who curse a lot" explained

Janet.

"That's a... very good definition" Jack said admittedly.

Daniel finished off his bottle of beer. Jack leaned over and whispered into Sam's ear"Watch this."

Then he leaned back and turned to Daniel"Daniel"

"Yar"

Teal'C, Sam, and Janet all looked at Daniel, then Jack.

"Janet, think of something crazy for Daniel to do."

Janet thought for a few seconds"Take off his shirt."

Jack raised his eyebrows and turned to Sam"And you're telling _me_ to keep it clean."

Sam and Janet smiled.

"OK" Jack said and turned to Daniel. He said in a commanding voice"Daniel... take off your shirt." Daniel gave him a wobbly salute and began unbuttoning his shirt. Janet and Sam's eyes widened.

"Drunk Daniel is so much more fun than normal Daniel" Jack said.

"Indeed" said Teal'C, giving him a small smile.

"Will he do _anything_" asked Janet as Daniel pulled off the shirt, exposing his chest.

"One, don't get any ideas. Two, no. Now, give him two more beers and you've got a buck-naked Daniel singing Christmas carols in the bathroom."

Janet looked as though she thought that giving Daniel another two beers was a good idea"What about you"

"Me? I don't get Daniel-drunk. I" Jack paused. All eyes were on him"Never mind..."

"C'mon (hiccup) Jack" Daniel shouted Janet jumped a foot in the air.

"Don't believe a word he says, no matter what" Jack said.

Janet grinned"Daniel, tell me what Jack does when he's drunk."

Daniel opened another bottle of beer"Last time" he said loudly"was last (hiccup) year and he (hiccup) danced with a broom that he named S"

Daniel never finished his sentence because a bright-red Jack had clapped a hand over Daniel's mouth.

"That's enough, Daniel" said Jack, blushing.

"Just a question, sir"

"Jack."

"Jack. Is there any way to get him... _un_drunk"

"Make 'im throw up. Feed him two bean burritos and he's already barfing."

Sam looked a little grossed out"That's the _only_ way"

"Yeah. You know, he doesn't even _like_ beer"

"Then why does he drink it" asked Janet.

"He likes to show-off" suggested Sam.

"I'm still here" said Daniel, his words slurring together.

"Only on a subconscious level" said Jack sarcastically.

"How does one show-off while drunk" Teal'C asked.

"Some women think it's attractive, and some just think it's funny" answered Janet"I personally think it's hilarious."

"Hey. I'm not a woman and I think it's better than the Simpsons" Jack said"Except when he hands out _personal information_."

They all laughed.

Janet stood up"C'mere, Daniel" she said. Daniel followed her into the hallway.

"Wonder where they think _they're_ going" said Sam.

"I wouldn't think about it if I were you" said Jack.

Teal'C's eyes were glued to the Simpsons.

"Hey, T, you like it"

"Indeed, O'Neill. It is nearly as interesting as 'All My Children'."

Jack's eyes widened"You watch soaps"

Teal'C was about to answer when Janet ran into the room in a fit of giggles. She flung herself onto the open couch"Sam" she gasped, fighting off laughter"Come here"

Sam came over to her and began giggling"Are they"

"Yeah"

Both Jack and Teal'C looked a little miffed that they were being left out of this gossip"What is it"

Laughing hard, Janet managed to hold up a pair of blue boxer shorts before her and Sam burst out laughing again.

Jack exchanged a weird look with Teal'C, and then turned back to Janet"I _really_ don't want to know why you've got Daniel's boxers."

"I made him give them to me under the bathroom door" Janet said in between giggles.

"So there's a completely naked Daniel in my bathroom"

Janet nodded, still giggling"And he's getting 'undrunk'... Any moment now..."

And, sure enough-

"JANET" Daniel's voice shouted, and Janet burst into another fit of giggles.

"Hey, Daniel, why don't you come out and watch the Simpsons with us"

"Very _funny_, Jack" Daniel shouted"Janet, can you _please_ come here"

"Is the door closed" she yelled back. The rest of the room laughed.

"Yes" He shouted.

Janet stood, still giggling, and picked up his clothes. The other three followed her to the bathroom door.

"Janet, can I _please_ have my boxer's" Daniel pleaded through the door.

"What will you do for them"

"I'll do... anything."

"Anything"

"Yes, Janet, I'll do anything, can I please have my boxers"

Janet put the boxers under the door and they were quickly grabbed. Then the door opened a crack and a hand came out.

"Oh, look, Daniel's waving" said Jack.

"Jack, don't be an ass" Daniel said as Janet handed him his pants"You weren't the one that was _naked_ in your friend's house... Belt"

Janet handed him the belt. Daniel's head poked out as he put on the belt"Just a question... but why are you three watching us"

"It's funny, Daniel" answered Sam.

"Indeed it is, Daniel Jackson" Teal'C said.

"Yeah, Teal'C thinks it's as funny as Jaffa jokes."

Teal'C looked at Jack and raised an eyebrow. Daniel rolled his eyes"Can I have my shirt, Janet"

"Maybe."

"Maybe"

"Maybe."

"_Please?_"

Janet handed him the shirt and he stepped out, putting on the shirt"What" he asked the other four. They burst out laughing.

Daniel blushed"You people have some really weird ways of finding humor."

Five hours, several games, and infinite laughs later, Jack was the only one awake, unless you counted Teal'C, who was in a deep state of kel'no'reem with his eyes closed.

Jack looked around at his friends. There was, of course, a closed-eye Teal'C. Sam was scrunched up, using his leg as a pillow. Daniel was sitting, but sleeping, and Janet was hugging him around the waist, as though she was afraid of drifting away.

Jack closed his eyes and drifted into sleep.

"Ho, ho, ho"

A loud voice shook Daniel, Janet, Sam, and Jack awake.

"Teal'C" Jack croaked.

"Indeed I am not, O'Neill. I am Santa Clause."

The other four's eyes opened and widened. Teal'C was in front of them, wearing a Santa suit. He even had on a fake beard.

Jack began to laugh. Sam, Janet, and Daniel joined him.

"OK, Santa, why don't you hand out gifts"

Teal'C picked up four gifts and handed them out. Jack picked up a present marked "Teal'C" and handed it to outrageously-dressed Jaffa"Here, you can open it for Teal'C." When Teal'C gave him a blank look, he said"Rip off the paper."

Teal'C ripped it off in one move. His face turned into a smile"An Obi Won Kenobi doll."

Daniel smiled and raised his hand"That's from me."

"Thank you, Daniel Jackson."

The other four opened their presents. Both Sam and Daniel groaned at the same time.

"Jack..." said Daniel, hiding the present behind his back"Why- _why_ would you buy me this, again"

"It depends... what is it"

Both Daniel and Sam held up their copies of How to Date. Jack couldn't help but crack up. Janet held up her water gun that she'd unwrapped.

"The ultimate way to annoy Daniel" she said.

"How come Janet gets a water gun and I get a book on _dating_"

"Relax, Daniel, you all get one... the water gun, that is. Besides, you need the book more than her" Jack answered, then looked at his own gift"OK, who gave me the Madonna bobble head"

Teal'C took off his beard"That was I, O'Neill."

Daniel pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it to Janet"Here, it's one of you presents."

Janet read the note, which said, 'Turn to face me.' She did do and Daniel came towards her. He embraced her and then kissed her.

Jack raised his eyebrows as the couple enjoyed their first public kiss, 'That's a first at a team get-together."

"No kidding" Sam replied. Sam gave a sideways glance to Jack, who was staring at her"What"

Jack looked away"Sorry, I was just... thinking."

Sam smiled"OK..."

Jack stood up"One sec, I gotta grab something from the truck."

Teal'C kept smiling and looking at the Obi Won Kenobi doll"You can open another gift, Teal'C."

"Indeed..."

Sam's attention turned to Daniel and Janet, who'd finally broken apart. They were both silent.

"Uhm..." he said"Whatever you think, it wasn't a dare... or something..."

Janet smiled"I know."

Jack managed to get Sam's gift out of the back of the truck. He pulled out a pen and

wrote on the back: To Carter, From Colonel Jack O'Neill.

He picked it up and walked to the door, taking deep breaths.

"OK, Carter, I'm giving you this because... I can't do it normally."

Sam read the book and flipped over the cardboard cut-out and gasped. It was a picture of a man proposing to a woman. The man had a "Hello, my name is" tag. It read 'Jack'. The woman's was 'Carter'.

"Oh, my God" Sam whispered.

Daniel raised his eyebrows"That's... original."

"Thanks, Daniel."

Sam went up to jack and hugged him"Thanks" she whispered.

"No problem."

Sam stepped away from Jack"Not a word of this leaves _this_ house" Jack said.

"Same with... us" Janet said. They all nodded to these two statements.

"Gifts, anyone"

When Jack had finally persuaded Sam to let him and Teal'C leave, Daniel convinced Janet to let him go with another kiss. Janet and Sam sat in her living room, gazing into space.

"Look at us, we're like teenage girls in love" Janet said, smiling.

Sam shook her head"My job doesn't allow me to love."

"Bad luck. Daniel's not in the military."

"Yeah, well, Colonel O'Neill is."

"Sam" Janet said softly"No matter what you're thinking... don't quit your job."

Sam gave her a weak smile"Don't worry..."

Finished…. Now, press that button that says "Review"…

18


End file.
